Who Could Have Imagined?
by iluvfriendsus
Summary: When Rachel and Chandler are brought together through circumstances, will they find happiness again in each other's arms? A Chandler/Rachel fic!
1. Default Chapter

Who Could Have Imagined?

Rachel Geller–Bing entered her house and put her keys and purse down on the counter.  "Hey Rach!" her step-son Daniel hollered from upstairs, "Dad called he said to eat without him he had a last minute meeting." Rachel sighed and decided not to mess with cooking, she'd just order Chinese; all the kids liked that anyway.  

Her daughter, Julie came in the kitchen with her sister Samantha, "Hey Mom. What's for dinner?"

"Chinese.""ne

"Okay, Chandler must not be joining us."

"No he had to work late."

"Alright, well we are going to go watch TV for awhile.  If anyone calls I'm not here unless it's Chrissie or Matt." She flashed a smile at her Mom and left the room.

Rachel's eyes formed with tears, Julie's smile always brought tears to her eyes.  Because in Julie's smile Rachel saw her first husband Ross, the love of her life.  Not that she didn't love Chandler because she did.  But Ross had been her first love, the father of her children, and her soul mate.  They had been married for fifteen years when his life, and the life of his sister Monica, had ended so abruptly and suddenly.  Both the Gellers and the Bings had been thrown into tragedy and heartbreak like none of them had ever seen before.  

The love relationship between Chandler and Rachel had been gradual and accidental.  Both of them had been completely and totally in love with their respective spouses and neither of them were looking to fall in love again.  They were just looking to heal from their unbelievable heartbreak.  What neither of them expected is that they both would find solace and new love in each other's arms…

2 1/2 years earlier………

Ross, Rachel, 15-year-old Julie Geller, 13-year-old Samantha Geller, Monica, Chandler, and 14-year-old Daniel Bing were all gathered at Ross and Rachel's house for a cookout.  The weather was perfect outside and the three teens were playing Frisbee in the backyard, while the adults were sitting around talking.  Rachel was sitting in Ross' lap and Monica and Chandler were holding hands.  They were laughing and reminiscing about old times.

"I wish Phoebe and Joey were here.  I miss them." Rachel sighed.

"Yeah, it's definitely not the same with them in California." Ross kissed her and stood up to check the grill.  "Damn, I'm going to have to go get more propane."

Chandler, ever the sarcastic, chimed in, "Dude, don't you think you should have checked that before you started the hamburgers?"

"Yeah probably. Well I will just run down to Jack's and get some."

Monica stood up, "Hey Ross, I'll go with you cause I want to get something else to go with the dessert I brought."  She grabbed her purse and gave Chandler a kiss, "I'll be right back."

Ross hollered out to the kids, "Anyone need anything from Jack's?"

They all just looked at him and started playing Frisbee again, "Guess not sweetie," Rachel said to Ross, "I would go with you but I have to watch the corn and stuff in on the stove." She gave him a quick kiss as he and Monica left.

Rachel and Chandler sat there talking about work and watching their kids.  Ten minutes stretched into twenty and twenty minutes stretched into thirty.  Chandler looked at his watch, "Did Ross go to the Jack's that's like a mile away or the Jack's in Brazil? Course it's Ross, he drives so slow that they probably just got there."

Rachel laughed, "They'll be here any minute.  Everything else is ready so as soon as he gets here we'll throw the burgers on before everything gets cold."

Fifteen minutes later there was still no sign of Ross and Monica.  "Mom, I'm starved!" Julie said, "When is Dad gonna be here?"

"He'll be here any minute, Julie, why don't you come help me the rest of this food and Sam, can you throw a pot of water onto boil I'm going to go ahead and boil the hotdogs or else we'll never eat."  Sam went into the house and came back out almost immediately. "Samantha Christine Geller, there's no way that you could have already put those hotdogs on-" Rachel started to lecture her.

"Mom, two police officers just pulled into our driveway.  Is something wrong?"

"I don't know honey. Stay here girls." She opened the gate and walked around to the front of the house.

The two policemen were standing on the porch.  When they saw her come around the corner they walked off the porch towards her.  "Are you Mrs. Ross Geller?"

"Yes, I'm Rachel Geller." Panic had set in now, "What's wrong?"

"We're sorry to have to tell you this ma'am but your husband was killed this afternoon in a traffic accident.  He was killed instantly when a car pulled out in front of him."

Rachel just stood there for a moment letting the reality and finality of the situation sink in, "NO!" she screamed, "NO!" she fell down onto her knees sobbing loudly.  Her screaming brought Chandler and the kids from the backyard.

"Rach?" Chandler dropped down next to her, "Rach?"

He looked at the officers, "What's going on?" 

"Are you related to Ross Geller?" one of the officers asked.

"Yes, I'm his brother-in-law."

"He died this afternoon in a car accident."

"Oh my God Monica!!!" Chandler realized, "My wife was with him in the car. Where is she? Where is Monica?"

"The woman that was with him was lifeline to Bethpage Hospital.  She was in very bad shape."

By now, Julie and Sam had dropped down onto their knees next to their mother and they were all three shaking and crying.  Chandler touched Rachel's shoulder, "I've got to go to Bethpage and check on Monica." Tears were streaming down his face, "I hate to leave you alone Rach."

"I want to come with you." She said, standing up, "I missed my chance to say goodbye to Ross.  I don't want to miss that chance with Monica if there is a chance."

Within minutes the five of them were rushing into the Emergency Room at Bethpage Hospital.  Chandler ran up to the desk and told them who he was.  He was immediately taken back to where Monica was.  Rachel and the kids sat down in the waiting room still in shock.  The girls had not stopped crying and sat in their chairs, with their arms draped around each other still sobbing for the father that they had lost.  Chandler came out after a while and the grief was written all over his face, "Monica is in a coma."  He started to sob, "she is completely brain dead and they want me to take her off life support."

Daniel rose to his feet and ran out of the room not wanting the girls to see him cry.  Chandler went after him, and Rachel pulled her girls in closer to hug her.  The tears started up again when she realized that she had already lost the most important people in her life today, her wonderful husband and her best friend.  How would she ever be able to survive without them?

The next few days went by in a whirlwind.  Monica was said goodbye to and cried over.  When the life support was disconnected, Chandler, Daniel and Rachel were in all the room.  When she slipped from this life she was surrounded by three of the people who loved her the most in the world.  Phoebe and Joey flew in from California to attend the memorial services and to comfort their grieving friends.

After Monica's memorial service Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and Rachel were all sitting in what was now only Chandler's apartment drinking coffee.  

"Oh my God, it's empty in this place without Monica." Chandler said. "How in the hell am I going to survive this?"

Phoebe grabbed his hand, "You will survive this, Chandler because Monica loved you so much and she would want you to remember her laughing and cleaning and loving you and your son. She would want you to make her proud, so proud of you Chandler."

Rachel was crying again.  "I'm glad that Jack and Judy have already gone.  This would have killed them, like's it killing me only worse." Joey came over to Rachel and hugged her tightly.

The four of them sat there for a long time crying over the friends, lovers, and spouses that they had lost.  They sat there wondering how their lives would ever get back to a sense of normalcy and how in the hell they were ever going to survive without the people that they loved the most.

Montage:  My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion is playing in the background.  Chandler telling Monica he loves her for the first time, Ross and Rachel's kiss after watching The Prom Video, Monica popping up unexpectedly from Chandler's bed in London, Ross and Rachel kissing in the planetarium, Monica and Chandler's wedding, Ross and Rachel's wedding, both couples playing cards together, Julie's birth, Daniel's birth, and Samantha's birth.

Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you   
That is how I know you go on.   
Far across the distance and spaces between us   
You have come to show you go on.   
Near, far, wherever you are,   
I believe that the heart does go on.   
Once more you open the door   
And you're here in my heart,   
And my heart will go on and on.

Ross and Rachel kissing passionately, Chandler and Monica lying in bed together, Ross and Rachel making a toast to each other over a candlelight dinner, Monica and Chandler holding hands watching Daniel play at a baseball game.  Ross and Monica leaving to go to the store, the kids playing Frisbee in the backyard, the police arriving at the house, Chandler, Rachel, and Daniel sitting with Monica when they disconnected her life support, scenes from both Ross' and Monica's memorial services.

Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,   
And never let go till we're gone.   
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to   
In my life we'll always go on.   
Near, far, wherever you are,   
I believe that the heart does go on.   
Once more you open the door   
And you're here in my heart,   
And my heart will go on and on

Scenes of both Ross and Monica from babyhood until adulthood and as the song ends there is one of both them together hugging just a few days before the accident.

You're here, there's nothing I fear   
And I know that my heart will go on.   
We'll stay forever this way,   
You are safe in my heart,   
And my heart will go on and on. 

Six Months later…

Chandler and Rachel's families had been spending lots of time together since the tragic accident.  It was less painful for everyone to have other people around.  The two Geller girls and Daniel were as close as ever.  However, Daniel seemed resentful of this newfound relationship between his father and Rachel.  His resentment grew deeper as Rachel and Chandler spent more time together than they ever had before. They seemed to take solace in being together, almost as if they each had pieces of their beloved spouses with them when they were together.  The families gathered just about every night for pizza or movies or card games, anything to keep their minds off the immense pain and sorrow that they were all still trying to sort through.

One night Julie suggested that Rachel and Chandler go out for a nice dinner just the two of them.  Rachel immediately rejected the idea, "Julie, it's too soon."

"Mom for crying out loud, it's not a date or anything.  It's just you and Uncle Chandler have been really stressed since Dad and Aunt Monica died and I think it would be good for you to two to get just away from everything and relax. Have dinner, go dancing, get drunk, whatever."

Chandler agreed with Julie and soon he and Rachel were sitting at Tivoli's having dinner.  They had chosen a restaurant carefully, because they did not want to eat at someplace where there would be too many memories of Ross and Monica.  At first they just sat quietly eating their salads.  Finally Chandler spoke up, "Well this is fun."

Rachel smiled at him, "Yeah it is.  I didn't realize how depressing my life has really been lately until Julie brought it to my attention.  God, she's so much like Ross, she always knows just what to say," her eyes got teary, "and when she smiles at me it's like having Ross right here with me."

Chandler sighed, "I never knew lonely until I lost Monica.  I lay there in bed at night alone and my God I miss her.  The way she smelt, the sound of her breathing.  I've thought about dating again, but I just feel like it would be betraying her."

"I don't even have a desire to date.  I will never love anyone like I love Ross, and it just wouldn't be fair to any new man in my life."

"Well my depressed friend, would you like to dance?" Chandler invited.

"Sure my depressed friend." Rachel smiled at him and the moved on to the dance floor. At first they both felt a little awkward but eventually they were able to hold each other as they danced.  "This is nice." Rachel smiled up at him.

"Yeah it is." He kissed the top of her head.  Rachel gasped, as memories of Ross flooded over her.  She broke away from Chandler and went back to the table.

"Rach, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"It's not your fault Chandler, but you see that's why I'm worried about dating again.  Every time another man kisses me or holds my hand I'm going to think of Ross. God, I love him so much still."

"I understand, really I do. I feel the same way about Monica. Why don't we call it a night?" he grabbed her coat, "Let's just get you home."

Later that night snuggled into her own bed; Rachel clutched a photo of Ross next to her chest and cried her eyes out.  How could it still be this hard after six months? Would the pain ever go away? She would give anything to see him one more time, to kiss him, to hold him, to tell him she loved him one more time.  Her mind wandered back to the day of the accident and her memories of Ross on that day.  She was so glad that they had made love that morning, and that they had kissed before he left.  Ross died knowing that she loved him, but part of her wished she would have went with him and that way she wouldn't be the one left trying to live without him.

Chandler was also lying in bed completely uncovered and restless.  He couldn't get his mind off what had happened tonight.  He hadn't meant to make life more painful for Rachel.  He more than anyone else understood what she was going through.  It was times like these that he longed for his sweet Monica, she always knew exactly what to do to help him get out of these situations that he always got himself into.  He finally decided that he would call Rachel in the morning and apologize again.  He didn't want anything to come between their friendship.

Nine months following the accident…

Chandler was sitting at his desk, trying to concentrate on his paperwork.  But he couldn't stop thinking about Rachel.  He couldn't stop thinking about happy he was when he was with her and how she had helped to dull his own pain.  He glanced up and saw a picture of Monica smiling at him.  He realized at that moment that while he would always, always love Monica he was starting to let other people into his life. He realized that he was falling in love with Rachel.  And he hadn't meant to.  It was just natural after spending so much time with her, and growing so close to her, both of them trying to move past the pain they still felt. The last three months had been very special.  Chandler and Rachel had lunch together almost every day and they still spent many dinners together with their kids.  But Chandler was starting to realize that he wanted to be with Rachel, not just because she could help heal the longing in his heart.  But because he really liked being with Rachel, she was a phenomenal and sweet person.  No one could ever replace Monica, but he thought she would approve of him loving Rachel.  Monica would want both of them to be happy and loved.  Chandler grabbed the phone and dialed Rachel's work number.

"Rachel Geller," she answered.

"Hey Rach," Chandler asked, "I was wondering if you would like to grab some lunch with me this afternoon?"

Rachel smiled at the sound of his voice.  Chandler was such a good friend. "How is that different from any other day?  Ummm let me look at my calendar.  I think that will work. Where should we meet?"

"How about I pick you up at your office and then we can decide."

"That sounds good.  See you in a few minutes."

Chandler was at Rachel's office within ten minutes of his phone call.  "Let's go to that new deli down the street, I feel like a good sandwich." She suggested.

"That will work." Chandler smiled at her, "You know if Joey were here he would tell us to get him a meatball sandwich."

Rachel laughed, "Yeah he would be mad knowing we are going without him too."  She grabbed her purse and they walked out of her office and down the street to the deli.

Once they were both seated at the table, Chandler asked Rachel how her day had been going.

"It's going pretty well.  We got this new shipment in of really great stuff.  Julie will be so excited. She will want to come down and look at this stuff.  It's a whole new line all for teenagers very trendy and upbeat.'

Chandler smiled, "I love how passionate you are about your work."

"Well, it helps to have something to keep my mind off things." They both looked down at their plates.  "I'm sorry I brought that up," Rachel said softly. "So, how are things for you?"

"Good.  Good.  Actually I came to a realization today."

"You did?  A good realization or a bad realization?"

"Well I think it's good."

"Are you going to share this realization with me?"

Chandler smiled at her, "No not yet.  I'm not ready to share it with anyone yet.  Maybe someday I will share it with you."

Rachel took a bite out of her pickle, "Oh okay. Well, I'm here if you ever want to share."  She put her hand on his arm in a friendly way, "I don't know how I would have made it without you Chandler.  I want you to know that."

"I understand completely, Rach.  I understand completely."

Over the next several weeks, Chandler tried very hard to contain his new feelings for Rachel.  He could tell that she thought nothing more of him than a friend.  She was still madly in love with Ross.  His name still came up constantly.  Chandler understood, Monica was still often in his thoughts and he loved her so much still, yet he knew that he had to move on with his life.  Monica would want him too.

The worst day for Rachel fell on April 17.  It would have been her and Ross' sixteenth wedding anniversary.  She called in sick to her office that day and after the girls left for school she crawled into bed.  She had a box of cards and pictures lying next to her on the pillow and a bottle of wine in her hand.  She took a card out of the box and opened it and read it.  This started the tears; they flowed freely down her cheeks as she remembered her husband through his pictures and his cards.  Every so often she would take a large drink out of the bottle of wine.  The card from their last anniversary brought the most heart wrenching reaction from Rachel, her eyes tearfully and lovingly scanned the message written in Ross' familiar handwriting, "To my most beautiful wife, how much I love you is hard to put into words.  I have had you by my side for fifteen fabulous years and no one could ever make me as happy as you have.  Here's to fifteen more.  Love with all my heart, Ross" Rachel flung the card across the room and threw herself down onto the floor sobbing and clutching the carpet with her knuckles.  

"Why did you leave me dammit?" She screamed, "I loved you so much, and you abandoned me!  You left me here to try and live without you, and it's too hard.  It's too hard!  Dammit Ross! Damn you!"  Suddenly Rachel felt comforting arms around her.  She looked up surprised to see Chandler holding her.  "Chandler, how did you?"

"Shh Rach.  Let it out.  It's okay."  After that he just held her while she sobbed.

            The next day over lunch Rachel thanked Chandler for being there for her.  "I don't know how you knew to come over, but I'm glad you did." She smiled at him.  "I'm glad that I was able to let it all out before Julie and Sam came home.  They've suffered enough without seeing their Mom all messed up."

            "I just knew what day it was and that you would need a friend.  I remember going through Monica's death all over again on what would have been our anniversary. You were reliving the good times and Ross' death all over again.  It's natural that you would be upset."

            Rachel gave him a weak smile, "I don't know if I will ever get past this."

            Chandler tried to smile back at her, but his spirits were low.  Those were not the words that he wanted to hear from her.  He knew that the only thing that he could do for her besides listen was to give her time.


	2. Part Two

This part of the story is dedicated to Jilli, who inspired me to continue writing this fic.

Who Could Have Imagined? Part Two 

A year and two months following the accident…

            Chandler continued to conceal his feelings from Rachel, though they grew stronger each and every day.  Rachel still seemed to be oblivious to the fact that Chandler loved her, but she did draw strength from being with him.  He seemed to lessen the unbelievable longing that she still had for Ross. 

            One night Chandler decided he couldn't bear it any longer.  He drove up to Rachel's house unannounced and knocked on the front door.  Julie answered, "Hey Uncle Ross."

            "Hey Jules, is your Mom home?"

            "Yeah she's in the den.  I'll go get her."  Rachel came out a few moments later.

            "Hi Chandler.  I didn't expect you tonight." She said self-consciously fixing her hair and straightening her skirt.

            "Well, I wasn't expecting to come over, but I was wondering if you would do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner?"

            "That's very sweet Chandler.  But the girls and I already ate."

            "Well, then let's go get some coffee.  I need to talk." Chandler said.

            "Oh, alright, Julie, Samantha will you girls be okay here for a little while?"

            Julie groaned, "Geesh Mom, I'm a senior in high school now, I think I can manage."

            Rachel smiled, "Don't remind me.  You're growing up fast."  She grabbed her purse and followed Chandler out to his car.

            They went to the coffeehouse and sat down at their usual table.  Rachel sipped her latte quietly for a few moments before speaking, "It's still hard to come in this place."  She glanced around the familiar scene, longing in her eyes.

            "Yeah, it is." Chandler swallowed hard, "Rach, the reason I asked you here tonight is because I need to talk to you."

            "Sure, what's up?"

            "Well, you know how awhile back I said I come to realization that I wasn't ready to share with anyone?"

            "Yes, I remember."

            "I'm ready to share my realization with you." He looked deep into her eyes, and for the first time Rachel noticed the love that had been for there several months now.

            "Oh my God, Chandler I-"

            He interrupted her, "I need you to hear me out before you talk." He picked up one of her hands in his and stroked it lightly, "Rachel, this past year has been the hardest of my life.  I never thought that I would be able to go on without Monica.  I certainly never thought that I could fall in love with anyone ever again. But I have." He smiled gently at her now, "I've fallen in love with you."         

            Little tears came to Rachel's eyes.  She didn't know what to tell him.  She didn't think she loved him back, she could never love anyone ever again, at least not how she had loved Ross. "Chandler, I-"

            "I know that you have doubts.  Believe me I do too.  It's scary to think about us being a couple.  Sometimes I feel like I'm betraying Monica by feeling the way that I do that about you, but I have come to understand something.  Monica is gone, as much I still love her, she will never be here again.  She would want me to move on with my life, to find someone to be happy with.  She wouldn't want me to be alone forever." He swallowed hard and looked at Rachel again, "And neither would Ross."  This last statement brought the tears flowing freely down Rachel's face.  Chandler went over to her and hugged her. "Shh Rach.  I didn't mean to make you cry." He kissed the top of her head in comfort.  He noticed that she did not flinch this time as she had in the past when he had done that.  Chandler wasn't sure how to take this though so he said nothing.  After several minutes had passed, Chandler released her and sat back down, "Let's finish our coffee. Our kids are going to be looking for us."

            Rachel finally spoke very cautiously and carefully, "Chandler you are going to have to give me time to think about this.  I don't know.  I still love Ross so much I am not sure I can give enough of myself to you to be fair to you."

            Chandler grabbed her hand again and squeezed it, "Rachel Geller, I want whatever part of yourself you want to give me.  And if that is none of you I will accept that too.  But I love you, and nothing will change that. I will give you all the time you need."

            "Thanks," Rachel said simply and then grew quiet with her thoughts.

            After a few minutes, Chandler stood up, "Let's get you home."

            Outside Rachel's door, she turned to Chandler and hugged him. "I don't know what to say…" she began.

            Chandler returned the hug, "You don't need to say anything right now.  I will call you tomorrow and we'll get together with the kids and go to a movie or something."  He looked down into her eyes, "And you look beautiful tonight, probably the most beautiful I've ever seen you." With that said, he leaned down and kissed her swiftly on the lips.

            Rachel was not expecting that, nor was he expecting her reaction to the kiss.  She reached up and grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him again, this time for several minutes and with passion.  When they finally broke the kiss, Rachel said quietly, "Good night Chandler." She then turned and went into her house.  Chandler stood there on the porch for a few more moments trying to let the events of the last several minutes sink in.  What did that kiss mean? Did Rachel love him?  Did she want to be with him? Or was she just substituting him for Ross? He sighed deeply and went home.  

            That night alone in her bed, Rachel couldn't sleep.  Memories of Ross kept overwhelming her and then the memories of the kiss that she had shared with Chandler.  She wanted to kiss him she realized, but in the back of her mind was always Ross.  Would she be betraying him by loving his best friend? What about the girls? Or Daniel? How would they feel about this?  Rachel began to cry again, she had never cried so much in her life as she had over the past year.  She wanted some sense of normalcy, some sense of direction.  She needed a calming effect, someone to share her life with.  While that person used to be Ross, she knew she could never have him again.

            The next few days were very awkward between Rachel and Chandler.  The kids were starting to think that something was going on between their parents.  They were usually happy and laughing around each other, and lately their conversations had been nothing less than reserved and minimal.  Chandler was afraid of messing things up with Rachel, and Rachel was still confused about what she really felt for Chandler.  So they both thought avoiding the issue was the best approach for now.  But on the inside it was eating both of them alive.

            On one of her lunch breaks, Rachel took a cab out to the cemetery where Ross and Monica were buried.  She walked over to their gravesites with flowers in her hands and tears in her eyes.  She fingered their names lovingly where they were etched into the marble.  "Mon, I need some advice." She began, "God, I miss you so much.  I never thought I would have to go through life without my best friend.  It's so hard; I don't know how I will ever make it sometimes.  You would be so proud of Daniel if you could see him.  He loves you so much still, and he has not forgotten you.  He takes such good care of Chandler, and he's become like a brother to Julie and Sam.  Oh Monica, I will never understand why you were taken from us.  You were the one we could always count on when things got rough to pull us out and help us make sense of it all.  Right now, not a damn thing makes sense." Rachel was crying now, "But I think I'm starting to love Chandler.  And I'm not sure I should.  We've spent so much time together since the accident.  He's always been there for me whenever I've needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to listen.  God, Mon, I never thought this would happen.  Part of me doesn't want to love him, I'm so afraid of loving him.  I feel like I'm betraying you by taking your husband.  And most of all, I feel like I'm betraying Ross." She played with her wedding ring as she spoke, "When Ross gave me this ring, he swore it would bind our hearts and our love forever.  But the accident it changed everything.  Tell me what to do, Monica. Please tell me what to do."  Rachel stood there in the silence, crying, waiting for an answer from her friend, although she knew she wouldn't get one.  She left the flowers on Monica's grave and turned to Ross'.  

She stood there for a moment, staring at her husband's grave. "Hey you, my God, I miss you.  The nights are the hardest I lay there in the bed that we used to share and now I'm alone.  I miss the way you breathed while you were sleeping, the way you would whisper my name in the middle of the night, the way you would kiss me, and hold me, and make love to me.  I never thought I would be left alone.  I never planned to one day try to live without you, to live without your love.  Part of me still holds on to the hope that you are not really gone, that one day you will come walking back through the front door and take me in your arms and kiss me passionately and never let me go.  But I know that will never happen. I have to learn to accept the fact that you are gone.  That as much as I don't want it to be true it is.  Julie and Sam miss you so much, sometimes at night I can hear them crying in their rooms.  It's sweet that they don't want me to worry so they do their mourning in secret.  They are so much like you in that aspect, always sensitive to other people." Rachel got down on her knees now on the green mound of grass under which Ross laid.  "I will always love you Ross Geller.  I gave my heart to you forever, and you will always have it.  I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what you would expect from me now that you are gone.  I know that you would expect me to raise your girls so that they make you proud and I promise you right now that I will do that.  I also think that you loved me enough that you wouldn't want me to be alone for the rest of my life.  Ross, I think I have feelings for Chandler.  Part of me wishes that I didn't because I feel so awful about them.  I feel like I'm betraying Monica, stealing her husband.  And I feel like I'm cheating on you because I don't know how to do that without feeling like I've given up on our love.  There is also this feeling deep down inside of me that I could never give the kind of love to Chandler that I gave to you.  I gave you everything I am, Ross.  All of me is merged with all of you. If I give that part of myself to Chandler that used to be yours, I don't know what to think about that. Iit's just there is a large piece of me that is down in there the cold, hard ground buried with you." She kissed her fingertips and placed them on his headstone, "I love you, Ross, still.  I always have and I always will." With that said she turned and went back to the cab. It always hurt like hell to leave them there, in the ground, forever still and lifeless.  But Rachel had come to understand that death is not hard at all for the deceased, but it is absolute hell for those who have to live without them.

She asked the cab to take her to Chandler's office.  She would go back into her own job later. She had to take care of the matter at hand right away before it drove her insane.  She walked up the three flights of stairs to Chandler's office and opened his office door.  She noticed that he looked very handsome sitting behind that desk, looking like he owned the place.  "Hi," she said.

Chandler glanced up from his computer, "Hi Rachel.  What a surprise."

"I was hoping we could talk." She sat down in the red velvet chair across from his desk.  "I can't take this anymore Chandler.  I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship.  I need you so much right now."

"I need you too a lot, more than words can say."

"I never expected this to happen.  I don't think I'm going to be able to forget Ross, how much I loved him. How much he loved me."

Chandler walked over to her and got down on his knees in front of her, "No one is asking you too, Rachel.  I'm just asking you to let me in."

"I don't know if I can…"

"You can," Chandler kissed her and suddenly it was happening.  Rachel was kissing him back with such hunger and passion.  As the kiss got deeper and deeper both of their minds were racing with doubts and hope.  They had such doubts about being able to love completely, doubts that their deceased spouse would not approve. But they had hope that they could finally be happy and find new love in each other's arms.  After several minutes later, Chandler broke the kiss.  He pushed a piece of bangs out of Rachel's face, "I love you Rachel Geller."

Rachel's eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry Chandler, I can't- I can't say it yet."

"It's okay, you don't have too.  When you are ready I will be here."

"If we are going to pursue a relationship don't you think we should talk to the kids about it?  This could be a little weird for them."

"Yeah, I think you are right. We'll take them out tonight and tell them."

Later that evening they were all sitting around at a pizza and arcade place.  "Hey Dad," Daniel asked, "Can I have some money? I want to go play some pinball."

"In a few minutes, Daniel, we want to talk to you about something first." Chandler grabbed Rachel's hand.  Understanding immediately registered on Julie's face and she smiled widely.  "Rachel and I have talked about dating, but we wanted to find out how you would feel about that."

Julie flashed her "Ross" smile at them again, "I think you should go for it.  Mom deserves to be happy.  And I know that you will treat her nice Chandler, and I think Dad would like it very much to know that you were around to take care of her."

Samantha looked sadly at Rachel, "But what about Daddy?"

Rachel looked at her sweetly, "Sammie honey, you know that Daddy is never coming home.  I loved your Daddy very much, I still do.  But we all need to move on with our lives, as much as it hurts and no matter how hard it gets."  

Samantha looked down at her plate, "That's awfully hard to do Mom."

Rachel looked at her younger daughter the understanding registered on her face, "I know it is, honey, I know it is. It is probably the hardest thing that any of us will ever have to do.  But we will get through this, and we will come out stronger people for it."

Samantha gave her a weak smile and took another bite of her pizza.  Chandler finally looked over at Daniel, "Son, do you have anything to add?"

Daniel looked at them fiercely, "Yeah. Yeah I do.  Go to hell." With that said he got up and left the table.  Rachel looked at Chandler with concern.  Chandler went to look for Daniel.

He found him outside sitting on the curb fighting back tears.  "Hey Danny." Chandler said gently sitting down next to his son.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

"How could you do that to Mom? Didn't you love her at all? How could you find another woman so quickly? Especially her best friend! How is that cherishing her memory? And what am I supposed to say to my friends at school if you two get married? This used to be my Aunt Rachel but now she's my step mom? That's just gross Dad. Think about what you are asking me."

"What am I asking you?"

"You are asking me to forget Mom.  To let another woman, my AUNT of all people, take her place.  I could never do that to Mom. EVER."

"That is not what I am asking of you at all Daniel. First of all, Rachel and I are no where near the point where we are ready to get married.  Nothing may even come of this relationship.  She is still madly in love with your Uncle Ross, and I still love your Mom.  It may be too hard for us to pursue.  But we feel like we owe it to ourselves, to our happiness to try it.  I hope that you will support us in this decision, but if you don't that is certainly your prerogative."  With that said, Chandler stood up and went back inside.

Later that night he and Rachel were talking on the phone about the events that transpired earlier that day.

"So, your girls seem to be okay with it." Chandler said.

"Well Julie is.  Sam I think is having a harder time with it but she doesn't want me to know it.  She wants me to be happy.  So she's keeping her real feelings to herself.  But I know that she misses her Father desperately and I think part of her thinks that someday he is coming back.  Of course, Julie misses Ross too.  But she inherited his down-to-earth, practical thinking. She knows that he is gone and that we all need to start our lives over."

"Daniel is very upset about it.  He thinks it is too weird for me to be dating his Mom's best friend that also happens to be his Aunt.  He made the comment about how it would be weird to introduce you to his friends if we get married."          

"Whoa! Who said anything about marriage?" Rachel's voice got tense.  
            "I know, I told him we were far from that point.  But Rachel I do think we owe it to ourselves to pursue this.  We could find happiness again, with each other."

Rachel's end of the line stayed quiet for a few minutes, "I think you're right Chandler.  But let's just take it really slow, okay? I'm not ready to hop into anything serious at this point."

"Agreed." 

Over the next several months, Chandler and Rachel took the dating process very slowly.  They went to movies a lot, and had quiet dinners out. They shared a lot of stories and memories and laughter.  They were starting to become more and more attached to each other.  Chandler remained a gentleman bringing her flowers and visiting her at her office.  Rachel always called him every night and talked to him on the phone while she was in the bathtub.  The Geller girls were accepting of the relationship, particularly Julie who wanted her to be happy.  Samantha was also accepting, but there was still some hesitation from her when she thought about another man replacing her Father. Daniel, on the other hand, was still very angry and bitter about the relationship.  He hardly spoke to his Father and he never spoke to Rachel anymore.  Daniel's feelings were also starting to cause some dissension between him and his cousins, because the girls didn't think he was being entirely fair with his attitude towards the whole thing.  

About six months after they started dating, Chandler and Rachel took their relationship to the next level.  Chandler invited Rachel over to his place to watch videos.  Rachel showed up shortly before Daniel left to go stay at a friend's house   Rachel couldn't help but notice the obvious glare that Daniel cast in her direction on his way out the door.

"You look beautiful tonight, Rach." Chandler said quietly.

"Thanks," Rachel replied sitting down on the couch, "So what movie are we going to watch."

Chandler grinned at her, "Weekend at Bernie's."

Rachel laughed, "Good movie."  Chandler sat down next to her with a bowl of popcorn and they started to watch the movie.  Chandler's arm was draped around her shoulders and after awhile she rested her head on his shoulder.

After the movie, Rachel turned to look at him, "That was fun. I haven't seen that movie in a long time."

"Yeah, me either." Chandler said.  He smiled at her, "I always have a good time with you Rachel. I'm so glad that we decided to give this dating thing a try."

"Me too," she smiled.  Chandler leaned down and kissed her.  This kiss was different however than their usual kisses.  It was more urgent, more passionate, more longing.  As the kiss grew deeper and deeper they both started to get really into it.  Chandler suddenly realized how very much he wanted her.  He started to unbutton her shirt, watching for a clue that she would want him to stop.  None came.  

He finally broke the kiss and gazed into her eyes, "Rach, if it's too soon, if you want me to stop-" Before he could finish she had pulled him into another kiss.  That night Chandler and Rachel crossed the line from friends and mourning spouses, to new lovers.  Later that night, Rachel lay in Chandler's arms. "I better get home. The girls are probably wondering where I'm at."

Chandler kissed the top of her head, "Please don't leave.  Please stay with me tonight.  I just don't want to let you go yet."

Rachel smiled, "Okay, hand me the phone."  Rachel dialed her house and her oldest daughter Julie answered, "Hey Jules."

"Hi Mom.  We were kind of starting to worry."

"I know sweetheart, that's why I called. Listen, I'm going to stay the night at Chandler's tonight. Can I trust you to get Sam to science camp in the morning?"

"All right Mom!" Julie commented and Rachel blushed, "Of course I will take Sam to camp in the morning.  You just have a really, REALLY good time tonight."

"Thanks Julie. I love you."  

"I love you too, Mom." 

Rachel hung up the phone, "Well, Mr. Bing, it looks like you have me for the whole night."

"I was hoping you were going to say that," Chandler smiled and kissed her again.

The next morning Rachel woke up early and at first was disillusioned as to where she was.  She turned and saw Chandler lying next to her and smiled at the realization of where she was and what had taken place the previous night.  She got dressed quickly and went out to the kitchen to make some coffee.  She stopped at the sight of Daniel sitting at the table eating cereal.  She swallowed hard and proceeded to the counter to make coffee.  "Good Morning, Daniel."

Daniel glared at her, "Is it a good morning?"

Rachel grimaced; at least he had finally said something to her.  "Yes it is.  Did you have a good time over at your friend's house?"

"I don't know.  Did you have a good time with my Dad?" he started yelling at her his voice getting louder and louder with every word, "Did you have a good time betraying your best friend by sleeping with her husband? Are you proud of yourself? I used to be proud to call you my Aunt.  You were my Mom's best friend and I adored you.  Now the very sight of you disgusts me." He slammed his bowl into the sink and stormed off into his bedroom.

Rachel sat down at the kitchen table fighting the tears.  She suddenly felt Chandler's arms on her shoulders.  "Don't let him get to you, Rach.  He's just having a hard time with this."

Rachel brushed at the tears that were now falling down her face despite her best efforts to keep them in, "I think it would just be best if I went home."

Chandler hugged her, "Okay, I'll call you later."

Once Rachel was gone Chandler just stood there not knowing what to do.  He wanted so much to have Daniel accept what was happening between him and Rachel.  But he knew that it would take a lot of time and patience.  He wasn't worried about the time factor; he just wasn't sure how much longer his patience could hold out.

As time wore on Rachel and Chandler grew more and more serious.  They had been dating for close to nine months now.  Daniel was becoming more and more defiant about the whole relationship the longer it went on.  Chandler knew that he wanted to ask Rachel to marry him, and he thought that she was ready to accept but he wasn't sure if his son could take that yet or not.  Chandler finally gave up hope that Daniel would ever accept him and Rachel being together.

One perfect spring night Chandler took Rachel for a walk in the park.  The air had the scent of freshly blooming flowers and the breeze was blowing gently.  They walked for awhile making small talk and holding hands.  Chandler stopped her underneath a large tree and turned her to face him.  "Rachel, there is something I've been meaning to talk to you about. He grabbed both of her hands in his hands.  You always manage to look beautiful.  Rachel, I never thought that I would find someone to love again.  I thought that when Monica died so did my chance for happiness.  But someone came into my life and changed that forever.  That someone is you.  Nothing would make me happier than for you to wake up next to me everyday for the rest of our lives.  Rachel Geller, will you marry me?" at this point Chandler pulled a box out of his pocket and revealed a diamond engagement ring.

Rachel's eyes grew wide, "Chandler I-" She looked at the ring gleaming in the moonlight and at the face of the man that she had grown to love over the last year.  "I-I need more time."  She turned and walked away.

It had begun to rain softly, but Chandler didn't seem to notice he stood there holding the box in his hands and watched his happiness walk away.

Rachel couldn't sleep that night.  She kept reliving the proposal from Chandler over and over in her head.  It was a beautiful proposal.  Everything about it was perfect.  Everything about their relationship was perfect.  Why did she walk away from him? Is that what she really wanted?  After hours of agonizing over the scene from earlier Rachel finally fell into a fitful sleep.  About two in the morning the feeling that someone was staring at her awakened Rachel.  She groggily opened her eyes, and gasped at the image in front of her.

"Oh my God! Ross?!"


	3. Part Three

As always, these characters do not belong to me.  This story is for entertainment purposes only.  

Who Could Have Imagined? Part Three

Rachel couldn't sleep that night.  She kept reliving the proposal from Chandler over and over in her head.  It was a beautiful proposal.  Everything about it was perfect.  Everything about their relationship was perfect.  Why did she walk away from him? Is that what she really wanted?  After hours of agonizing over the scene from earlier Rachel finally fell into a fitful sleep.  About two in the morning the feeling that someone was staring at her awakened Rachel.  She groggily opened her eyes, and gasped at the image in front of her.

"Oh my God! Ross?!"

            "Hey, Rach." His familiar voice spoke quietly into the darkened room, in her direction.  "You have got to be the most beautiful thing that I have ever laid my eyes on."

            Rachel's eyes filled with tears, "Oh my God, is it really you?  Am I seeing things?  Are you really standing in front of me right now?"

            Ross never came any closer he just stood where he was.  "Rach, do you love me?" he asked.

            "You know I do, so, so much." She was crying now.  She didn't know if this was a dream or her eyes playing tricks on her. It certainly was cruel of her dreams to bring all these memories of Ross flooding back to her when she was trying to decide her future with Chandler.

            "Rachel Karen Geller I love you too.  I always have, I always will.  I wish I wouldn't have had to leave you so suddenly, so unexpectedly.  I never wanted to go you know that."

            "I know, Ross, I know."

            "Do you love Chandler?"

            Rachel paused for a moment, carefully considering how she should answer the question that Ross had posed to her, finally she spoke, "Yes, yes I do."

            "Then marry him.  He will make you happy.  I am gone forever, but he is here Rachel, and he will love you forever.  Don't give up that chance for happiness and love to preserve the love you have for me.  The love that we had was special, so deep, so all encompassing that it will never die.  Never."  He looked at her lovingly, "Always remember that I love you, Rachel."  And with that said he was gone as quickly as he came.

            Rachel stared into the blackness, where the image of her dearly parted Ross had been.  She realized now that Ross, of course, was still dead and that she had just dreamed his image.  But she couldn't help but think that he was sending her a sign from beyond the grave, that he wanted the best things for her.  He wanted for her to be happy, to build a new life, a new love with Chandler. Rachel suddenly realized what she wanted.  She jumped out of bed, threw on the first clothes that she could find, and ran to her car.

            Several minutes later, she found herself knocking on Chandler's door.  It took him several moments to answer, but when he finally did he was delighted to see the woman he loved standing on his doorstep.  She looked beautiful, more beautiful than he had ever seen her look.

            "Hey, Rach. Why don't you come in?"

            Rachel stepped inside, shutting the door behind her.  Chandler could see that she had something to say so he waited in silence for a few moments before she began to speak, "Chandler, something happened tonight.  Something that made me realize what I want from my life.  I realized that while I will always love Ross, that's it not abandoning that love to be with you.  I realized that I love you Chandler, I have for a long time now.  Nothing would make me happier at this moment, than to be your wife."

            Chandler smiled broadly at her, "That's the best news I've heard in a long time. Wait right here." He retreated into his bedroom and came out carrying the ring box.  He went to slip the ring on Rachel's finger and then they both noticed it. She was still wearing Ross' wedding ring. 

            Rachel resisted the urge to run out of the room.  She slipped Ross' ring off and placed it on her other hand.  "I believe your ring belongs here now." She said quietly.  She was fighting back tears.  Chandler had tears in his eyes too, as he gently placed his ring on her finger.  

            "I love you." He whispered into her ear.

            "I love you too." She whispered back, and then she leaned in and kissed him.

            They set their wedding date for New Years Day.  They wanted their wedding date to be as far away from the date of the accident, and their anniversaries with Monica and Ross.  Rachel's girls were very excited and helped Rachel with the simple wedding plans.  Sam was still having a hard time accepting the fact that her Dad was gone, but she knew that her Mom needed to be happy.  Julie had started college at NYU where her Dad used to teach, and she had made the decision to live on campus so that Rachel and Chandler would have less to worry about.  She came over every night for dinner though, and on the weekends to do her laundry.

            Daniel was extremely unhappy about the wedding.  He refused to accept the fact that his Dad was getting married again.  He hated the fact even more that it was to Rachel.  Anyone else would have been hard enough to accept.  But Rachel was like a slap in his Mom's face.  Daniel was stunned one day to come out of school and see Rachel standing on the steps waiting for him.  "Hey Danny."

            "What are you doing here?" he hissed.  "Haven't you done enough to make my life a living hell?"

            "I thought we could go somewhere and talk."    

            "No! I don't want to talk to you ever again."

            "You know Daniel, whether you like it or not, I am going to be living with you soon.  Your Dad and I are getting married.  Don't you think it would be better if we were on good terms?  It would make life so much easier for all of us."

            "Fine! We can talk.  But it's not going to change my mind.  I don't want you marrying my Dad."  He reluctantly got into the car with Rachel.

            They drove to an ice cream store.  They ordered double scoops cones and sat down at a table next to the window.  Daniel avoided talking as long as possible watching the people walk by on the street.  At last Rachel started the conversation, "Danny, I thought perhaps you and I could look past our differences and try to get along.  I want your Dad to be happy.  I want us all to be a family.  I love you; you know that.  And I love your Dad."

            "You don't love me, or Dad.  You didn't love Uncle Ross and you didn't love my Mom." Danny was crying now, "If you did love them you would never betray them this way.  You were Mom's best friend.  She loved you.  She loved my Dad."

            "You're right Danny.  She did your love Dad, very, very much.  I know that.  And I loved your Uncle Ross, in fact I still do.  But your Mom and Ross are gone and they are not coming back.  We have to move on with life.  We have to give ourselves a chance to be happy again.  We have to try to pick up the pieces of our lives and make them whole again.  That is what your Dad and I are trying to.  Daniel, we didn't intend to fall in love.  In fact at first, I think we both tried to avoid it, deny it even.  But we can't deny it anymore.  We make each other happy.  Being with your Dad makes me happy, and it makes him happy.  Your Mom loved all of us so much; she would want us to be happy more than anything.  I am not going to try and take your Mom's place because no one could ever do that.  I would just like you to give me the chance to love you.  Give me the chance to be part of your family.  I won't let you down, Danny, I promise."

            Danny ate a few more bites of his ice cream, "I'll think about." He blurted out.  "Can we go now? I have lots of homework."

            "Sure come on."  All the way home in the car Danny still didn't talk to Rachel.  She tried hard to hide her disappointment. She really loved the kid; like he was her own and she wanted them all to be happy.

            At last New Year's Eve came.  Rachel and Sam were rushing around their house trying to pack the rest of their stuff.  Chandler and Rachel had agreed to move into a different house so that their marriage would begin fresh.  Not that either of them were trying to forget their departed spouses, they just wanted a chance to make new memories together.  As Rachel was taping up the boxes, there was a knock on the door.

            Sam opened it and it was Danny. "Hey Sam."

            "Hey Danny.  Come in, it's cold outside."

            "I was hoping to talk to your Mom.  Is she here?"

            "Yeah." Sam closed the door and they came into the living room where Rachel was.

            "Hi Danny." Rachel stood up to greet him, "What a surprise."

            Without saying a word, Danny came up to Rachel and hugged her.  Rachel was so surprised that she was speechless.  "Welcome to the family," he said and turned around and walked out.

            Sam stood there staring at the door, she turned to Rachel and smiled broadly, "I think Danny is going to be okay, Mom."

            Rachel hugged her, "Me too, Sammie, me too."

            At exactly 3 p.m. on New Years Day Rachel and Chandler stood in front of the judge at their new home.  They had decided to have a very small ceremony in the living room of the home that they would share together.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together to join this man, Chandler Muriel Bing and this woman Rachel Karen Geller in holy matrimony.  If anyone sees just cause why these two should not be joined together let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

            Julie and Sam stood directly behind their Mother; they clutched hands and waited for Daniel to say something.  Daniel stood behind Chandler and remained silent.  There were tears running down his face, but he said nothing.

            "It is my understanding that the two of you have written your own vows.  Chandler please give your vows to Rachel."

            Chandler grasped Rachel's hand in his own, "Rachel, I never thought I would fall in love again.  I thought I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life.  I never thought that I would be blessed twice.  I have loved and been loved by the two most incredible women I've ever met.  I am so thankful that I have you.  I love you, and I promise to love you for the rest of my life."

            Rachel smiled at Chandler, her eyes shown with love and tears, "Chandler, on this day I stand here ready to become your wife.  I am ready to love you for better or for worse, through whatever life brings us.  Because I know that together we can conquer all things, we have proven it.  I love you."

            The Judge continued, "May I have the rings.  These rings are the outward expression of the inward love that will encircle your hearts forever.  Place the rings on each other's fingers and say, 'With this ring I thee wed.'" Chandler and Rachel did so.

"Now that Chandler and Rachel have expressed through love and commitment through their vows and by the giving and receiving of rings, I now pronounce that they are husband and wife.  What God has joined together let no one separate. You may kiss the bride." All three of the kids clapped as they kissed, and then Chandler and Rachel gave them all hugs.

            They decided to skip a honeymoon because of the time of the year and all the adjustments that needed to be made.  They settled down into the normal routine of life.  They were very happy, and while they both still missed Monica and Ross time was beginning to heal their wounds.  Daniel was still taking things the hardest but even his hardened heart was beginning to soften as time wore on.  He was finally accepting the finality of death and the need of the living to move on with life.

            Chandler's arms going around her waist brought Rachel out of her memories.  "Hey you." He said, "You ordered Chinese I see."

            "Yeah, I didn't feel like cooking."

            Chandler chuckled, "And how is that different from any other day?"

            Rachel hit him playfully, "You better stop while you are ahead."

            "Why? Will you try and make me?"

            "I might." She raised her eyebrows at him, "Was that a challenge?"

            He bent down to kiss her, "That depends on if you wanted it to be."

            "Oh yeah," she said as she sunk into eh kiss.  It grew more passionate and they just stood there in the kitchen kissing and enjoying being in each other's arms.  

            Samantha broke their moment, "That is so gross! Can't you guys do that somewhere else? This is everyone's kitchen you know."  She grinned at them, she was really okay with it, she was glad that her Mom was happy.  She was glad that they were all happy.  They had all been through enough hell.  It was time now for them all to rebuild and enjoy the wonderful moments that life could bring.  

            Samantha went back into her room and left her Mom and Chandler alone again.  She looked at the picture that sat on her desk of her Dad.  She fingered the edges of it lovingly and smiled, "Dad, she's happy.  I know that is what you would want." She sat down at her desk and begun working on her homework.

            Several minutes later there was a brief knock and then Daniel stuck his head in the door.  "Hey Sam, Dad and Rach are going to watch a movie? You want to watch it."

            "I really should work on my biology report."

            "Stop being a science geek and come on.  Julie's even coming back over."

            Sam closed the book and smiled, "Okay.  I guess I can work on this later."

            "Trust me you can." Daniel groaned.

            They ventured into the living room where Chandler and Rachel already sat snuggled on the couch.  "Hey kids." Chandler said, "We popped popcorn.  Oh and Rachel picked the movie, so sit at your own risk."  For that Chandler got hit over the head with a couch pillow.

            Julie came in right as the movie was starting.  She hurried to find a seat on the floor next to her sister.  Rachel smiled at the scene in front of her.  Daniel was in the armchair with his feet propped up.  Julie and Sam were sprawled on the floor right in front of the TV.  She was snuggled next to her husband.  What a family portrait this would make.  In this very room were all the people she cared about who were living and pieces of those who were departed.  Who could have imagined that life would work itself out the way it did?  This was her life.  And she was, at last, happy with it.


End file.
